Sherlock parodies – Transcripts of “Oklahomo” and “Mind Phallus”

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I have been reliably informed that some people whose first language is not English have either struggled to enjoy these hilarious videos or haven’t watched them at all, knowing that they would struggle to enjoy them.  I have therefore done transcripts of each one in the hope that this will help.  I have only transcribed the spoken words and not what is happening visually.  If you haven’t seen these videos yet because of the above reasons, can I suggest that you watch them first and then rewatch with the transcripts.

I hope a few people find these useful!  After all, I didn’t have anything better to do on my birthday …

Transcripts here.

Videos here: Oklahomo and Mind Phallus.

deaded:

callie-ariane:

skulls-and-tea:

requested by skulls-and-tea:

This is for callie-ariane, aka Ariane Devere. Without the text of her painstaking Sherlock episode transcripts, this fandom would be far less rich than it is. 

Ariane, thank you for the reading.



So I was thinking about how I spend at least a few hours a week elbow-deep in @callie-ariane’s episode transcripts, which are well-written enough that it’s almost like reading a novelization of the show. She even transcribed all of the DVD commentary. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. 

Us meta-writers and our Ctrl+F keys would be lost without her. So much fandom love. 

Chuffed to bits with this! Gifts(/gifs) like this make all the hours without sleep, and the sore fingers, worthwhile.  It’s a pleasure to write up such magnificent episodes, but even more of a pleasure to know that the transcripts are appreciated and that people find them useful - and that you enjoy reading them!  Thank you!

oh my gosh it’s really!!! you!??!? I just want to say a million times thank you. I have used your transcripts so many times and finally I have come across the real Ariane! I’m fangirling. can I name my child after you? 

What now?!  Good grief - that’s the most awesome request I’ve ever had!  I have no idea whether you’re serious, but even if you’re not I’m flailing at the very thought!  That has absolutely made my day.

lucius-and-thranduils-hair-salon:

just in case anyone had the urge to play sudoku with Sherlock episdoes, seeing as we only have nine.

I’m useless at Sudoku - but even I would have a go at doing this one!

skulls-and-tea:

requested by skulls-and-tea:

This is for callie-ariane, aka Ariane Devere. Without the text of her painstaking Sherlock episode transcripts, this fandom would be far less rich than it is. 

Ariane, thank you for the reading.



So I was thinking about how I spend at least a few hours a week elbow-deep in callie-ariane's episode transcripts, which are well-written enough that it’s almost like reading a novelization of the show. She even transcribed all of the DVD commentary. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. 

Us meta-writers and our Ctrl+F keys would be lost without her. So much fandom love. 

Chuffed to bits with this! Gifts(/gifs) like this make all the hours without sleep, and the sore fingers, worthwhile.  It’s a pleasure to write up such magnificent episodes, but even more of a pleasure to know that the transcripts are appreciated and that people find them useful - and that you enjoy reading them!  Thank you!

Sherlock 221B ficlet: Waltz

A 221B ficlet (plus the obligatory 221B Author’s Note).  No season 3 spoilers until after the warning in the AN.

Waltz

Since faking his death and leaving London, Sherlock has missed his violin very much. Some nights, as he tries to settle into yet another bedsit, or hotel, or abandoned building during his interminable quest to bring down Moriarty’s network, the ache of being without his violin is almost unbearable.

He misses his main incentive to play. It was a few months after John moved into the flat that Sherlock began to recognise an occasional tightness in John’s face which heralded a bad night’s sleep. Not long afterwards he found that if he played gentle, soothing, lullaby-like tunes before John went to bed, John slept peacefully and wouldn’t be found pacing the living room in the early hours after a nightmare.

If only Sherlock could play such music for himself right now. But it’s not worth buying a new violin – all too frequently he has to leave a place in a hurry, unable even to go and collect his few possessions.

In a hovel on the outskirts of Jagodina he finds a pad of large white plain paper in a drawer.

Two nights later, when the loneliness becomes too much, he draws several rows of music staves onto the paper. Then he settles down, and begins to compose.

_________________________________

Author’s Note

So, figure this one out. A 221B fic which ends with a word beginning with ‘c’. And it only has 207 words. 

Why is that maniac DeVere claiming it’s a 221B fic? Has typing the transcripts made her lose the few marbles that she had?

Well, you see, the picture underneath the story is of that music (being vague to keep it Season 3 spoiler-free).

It’s the first 14 notes.

207 + 14 = 221.

And the 14th note?

It’s a B.

I believe that makes the story a 221B, your honour.

Spoilers for season 3 follow, so read on only under advisement.

My heartfelt thanks go to David Arnold and Michael Price for writing the tune in the key of C so that no pedantic musician would feel obliged to point out, “Actually I think you’ll find that’s a B♭”!

Can I just add that I wasn’t thinking that Sherlock was composing a wedding waltz – he was simply composing something gentle that he might have played on one of John’s bad nights. It was only after he came back that he remembered the tune and used it for the worst day of his life when the man he is totally in love with married someone else and left him heartbroken John’s wedding.

Actually, maybe unstrike that struck-out bit.

_______________________________

Additional note: apparently in some European countries, notes are named differently, but I’m afraid I can’t take responsibility for that!

Why did I never notice this before?

(Probably because of the pretty boy behind him …)

Yes, we know what happened to the other one, Mycroft.

You’re always playing …

Sherlock 221B fic: Protégé

A 221B birthday fic for the adorable Chocolamousse.

Summary: I am Sherlock Holmes’ protégé.

Warning: Spoilers for Season 3.

Protégé, on Livejournal, AO3, or FF.net.

Wait a minute …

Sherlock was wearing dark grey trousers when John came to 221B - and later that same evening is he now wearing jeans?  (Second picture deliberately brightened to show contrast.)

But John never left his presence in the interim.

I think it’s obvious.  At some time between the two scenes, they dun sex, and Sherlock had to change his trousers.

It is canon.

Sherlock episode transcripts - and now the DVD Special Features

callie-ariane:

Transcripts of all episodes here

And finally: transcripts of new material which appears only on the three Special Features of the Season 3 DVD.  They do not include descriptions of every visual moment – you should buy the DVD yourself to see those!  But I hope that they may be useful in particular to viewers whose first language is not English and/or who are unable to access the subtitles.

Warning: Each of the Special Features contains spoilers.  Enter with care if you haven’t seen the episodes yet.

‘Fans, Villains and Speculation – The Legacy of Sherlock Holmes’ (Spoilers for all three episodes)

‘Shooting Sherlock’ (Spoilers for “His Last Vow”)

‘The Fall’ (Spoilers for “The Empty Hearse”)

Sherlock episode transcripts - “His Last Vow” now complete

callie-ariane:

The transcript of “His Last Vow” is now finished.

For those who’ve been playing along at home, continue from Part 4 here

Or start from the beginning here

Transcripts of all other episodes here

Callie-Ariane over and out, and off to bed for a week.

Oh, wait, the DVD comes out on Monday.  If there are episode commentaries, I may have to cry …

Sherlock episode transcripts - “His Last Vow” part 3

callie-ariane:

Part 3 is now up, ending 1 hour and 10 minutes into the episode.  The final part should hopefully be up by Saturday evening UK time.

Part 3 here

Or start from the beginning here.

Transcripts of all other episodes here

Daddy Holmes

He has his glasses on a chain round his neck …

.. like Larry Grayson.